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Burning the Midnight Oil

You know what keeps me awake? Not knowing if we got the loan from Wells Fargo.

My friend just sent me the money to pay off the listed tax liens but the tax people are trying to tell me I owe much more. I think they have my place mixed up with another one on the same street, because they got the brand name of my mobile home wrong.

I try to go to bed and my mind starts racing. I start writing letters to various people - Bette, Norman, the tax people - and my mind doesn't want to stop. I do eventually get to sleep but then I wake up shortly before sundown.

To say I'm under a load of anxiety is putting it mildly. I just want a mortgage approval so we can move on and get out of this nightmare.

There isn't anything I can do to relieve the anxiety except keep plugging along, paying things off, and praying to Chehooit that we get the mortgage. I've prayed to Her so much that She's alive and well, and little miracles are happening in the desert, including rainstorms.

I hate feeling this way. I hate being scared we won't get the loan. I hate it, and there's nothing I can do about it.