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Bette Goldenring

I have been reading, with some interest, the book "The Sociopath Next Door" by Martha Stout, Ph.D.

It isn't that I've never encountered sociopaths before. Hell - my biological father was one. One of my boyfriends in adult life was one, and one of my husbands was one. Yet another, a female, shook me down for $56,000 and sent me into bankruptcy. I've had more than my share of pain from sociopathic individuals.

So today I go to the web and do some research on Bette Goldenring. What I find does not speak of a sociopath at all, but a woman who is very concerned about the downtrodden around her, even as she lives in a bright, beachside home with a spectacular view of the ocean.

She is also not poor; further research reveals a "Goldenring Trust" which likely includes funds as well as real estate (found a house in Nevada listed under the Trust).

She is also involved in Habitat for Humanity - an organization that usually assists people just like me.

For all intents and purposes, you'd say she's a Pillar of her Community as well as a Philanthropist and Generous. She joined the Peace Corps in her 60s, and helped teach Hungarians - MY people - English. She's been involved in Habitat for Humanity projects down in Mexico; in fact, that's the only picture I found of the woman, one taken when she was involved in a project in Mexico.

I am sorry but I am going to be the one to put a real dent in her Do-Gooder armor: When it comes down to the wire, Bette Goldenring can be as un-generous, and unforgiving as they come.

On June 14, she secured ownership of our home and we have to be out before July 31 or face further court action. She couldn't even be bothered to show up and let me face my accuser. The only visual I have of her is this skinny, grizzled old woman in a kerchief on a building site in Mexico.

She managed this with nothing but a flimsy piece of paper, which claims the note was passed to her a month after we signed the security agreement with Buenaventura Capital. I know she didn't have that note in January 2007. We didn't hear her name until sometime in 2010 when Norman Flam sent us a handwritten note on old stationary telling us to pay her.

Norman is a classic sociopath but Bette is not. Yet she has a temper and likely harangued him for the money he borrowed from her till he finally said "here, I bought this house with it". She had the audacity to call Michael a "bully" when he pressed her during a phone conversation to come up with something a bit more businesslike and legal before we would begin paying her.

With her "worldly" experience, and having been the spouse of a lawyer, as well as the mother of one, certainly Mrs. Goldenring knows that business is NOT conducted simply with a handwritten note or a piece of paper with an unattributed signature. And yet - she pushed me out of this house with nothing more.

I wonder if she's done this to other people and if they have stories to tell like I do.

One thing I can say is that all the good works in the world won't make up for the harm she's done to Michael and I over this manufactured home. She's conveniently assigned us to "numbers" more or less by never seeing our faces but that does not diminish the harm she has caused - AND it does not diminish how she's gone against the teachings of the Torah, the Holy Book central to her Faith.

No amount of helping itinerant foreigners will make up for the harm she's caused in her own back yard, figuratively speaking.

Don't worry, Mrs. Goldenring. You'll get your manufactured home. Then you can talk to Norman Flam about the condition it's in. No, we aren't talking about the routine cleaning you'll have to have done once we move. We're talking about it not being mounted properly, causing structural damage you now have to cope with and the fact that the housing market is so depressed that even if you "patch it up" again like Norman did, you still won't get the 78K out of it that you handed that sociopath.

The damage you've caused two disabled people, who wanted nothing but a secure roof over their heads, will go on. In your dreams, you won't be able to escape what damage you have caused. No amount of helping poor Hungarians, Mexicans, or anyone else will make up for the permanent damage you have done to us. No amount of gazing out on your ocean view will be a balm to you, Mrs. Goldenring. Where was your sympathy when you heard we were both disabled and on fixed incomes? Where was your forgiveness? We tried our best to work something out with you but you wouldn't give us the time of day. You couldn't even be troubled to show up in court and face me, the primary person you were displacing, who DID show up, with help of a quad cane. In the intervening days, my legs have gotten worse, and for all the helpless souls you have aided, you couldn't find it in your heart to help one more. One who happens to be of Jewish Hungarian ancestry, which makes your work with my Brethren all that more ludicrous. Just because I have a white face and live in the USA doesn't make me any less deserving of your compassion, Mrs. Goldenring. Think about that when the ghosts assail you in the middle of the night, shaming you for not showing compassion when it would have meant the most.

P.S. You really screwed up this time, Mrs. Goldenring. You could've aided us and made us your Poster Children for Helping the Disabled. Instead we will always be a Big Black Mark on your otherwise spotless record.



( 9 whispers — Whisper In My Ear )
Jun. 18th, 2012 02:34 am (UTC)
You ought to go to her temple and manage to sit next to her during a service for the sole purpose of making her sweat. It would be rude beyond belief for her to bail during her own temple service and she'd have to endure you for an hour or so.
Jun. 18th, 2012 03:50 am (UTC)
Something tells me they have a "special place" for the Pillars of the Community to sit, that I wouldn't be able to get anywher near her. After all, you can't have sweaty normal humanity sitting next to Pillars, can you?
Jun. 19th, 2012 04:55 am (UTC)
Its always those little details that ruin great plans.
Jun. 18th, 2012 04:02 am (UTC)
I have thought of something like that.

Jun. 18th, 2012 04:14 am (UTC)
And you could pull it off, too. After all, you have married (and been married) into the faith.

I just realized that I know a Norman Flam from Southern California. That name looked very familiar and I decided to look it up. Sure enough, the guy who used to own The Last Grenadier, a game and hobby chain with stores in Northridge and Burbank and an office in Encino, was Norman Flam.

Tell me about this Norman Flam you know. Did he have a beard, light brown hair, and glasses? Was he particularly snarky? Was he in his mid to late 50s? If so, it's a small world.
Jun. 18th, 2012 04:17 am (UTC)
'our' Norman Flam


Edited at 2012-06-18 04:20 am (UTC)
Jun. 18th, 2012 04:29 am (UTC)
Re: 'our' Norman Flam
Nah, not the same guy. The one I knew was a scruffy gamer who would never clean up that nicely.
Jun. 18th, 2012 04:40 am (UTC)
Like neb's latest turd flush, I hope you find these words purge you of this stress, and moving forward with the excitement that is to be the 'rest of your life'.

Jun. 18th, 2012 05:22 am (UTC)
( 9 whispers — Whisper In My Ear )